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  Some nights its hurts more than others. Some nights I envy people who deal with screaming toddlers... if they only knew what they have. Some nights I wish I was staying in to rock my brother to sleep... not sitting in a bar. Some nights I sit and stare at his picture on my laptop and wonder what he would have been like. Would he love dinosaurs like his Tori? Would he hum and sing to everything on the radio like his Skye? Would he play every and any sport he could like his Kk? Some nights I wish heaven was a quick car ride away because even a hug would be better than not having him here at all. Some nights its simply easier to smile and say your okay when reality is... you're broken. Grief comes in waves.... sometimes you can keep your balance... other times you feel like you drowning.  Can't believe he will be 2 in a few days.....