Skip to main content

2015

So I may be a little late the 2015 party, but it's because I wanted to compose something really worthwhile. I can't tell you how many blogs I have started and not finished since my last post.

2014 taught me a lot. A lot more than one simple blog post can explain, but i'll sure do my best.

Make the decision best for you. When faced with choosing between A and B, don't choose B because that's that everyone wants you to do. Pick the one that YOU want. Pick the one that suits you best. Those who really care will support you whether you pick A or B. Pick the one that is going to set you up for a better future.

"Family" is just a word. "The descendants of a common ancestor." That's the definition that pops up when you type "family definition" in to Google. But as I've gotten older I've learned the hard truth. Family is NOT always blood. It's the people who want to see you succeed. It's the people who don't just call and text on your birthday, or when they need something, but randomly just to see how you are. Family are the people who stick with you through the tough stuff, they don't abandon you. Family forgives you for something you may have said when you were hurt and at rock bottom, they don't leave you out to dry.

Death hurts. It hurts in the moment, its hurts the day after the funeral when your phone stops ringing with texts/messages/calls of prayers and thoughts, and it sure as hell hurts 17 months later. Someone you love is gone and until you reach Heaven... you can't have them back. So yes, you are allowed to cry. Whenever the hell you feel like. Take time to adjust to the life changes that are happening. No one prepares us for death, there is no right or wrong way to handle it, so again... do what's best for you. At CJ's service Father David said something that everyone heard but only a few actually felt. He said that people need to stop saying let me know if you need anything. Why? BECAUSE THEY NEED YOU! A person who needs help isn't going to ask for it. The visitors that showed up unannounced following Christian's funeral are angels. They HEARD what Father said. The people who have surrounded us; checked in on us, and been there for us not only that week but for the months to follow.... we need more of them on this earth.

When life knocks you on your knees, your in the perfect position to pray. I love this quote and the truth behind it. When I hit rock bottom, I moved to Florida and I found myself in a church of all places on my time off. As mad as I was with God, he called me home. And after many tears, alone in a pew during mass, he and I were able to work through some things. I'm not saying I'm a perfect Catholic, but when I needed my faith most it, it was there for me. Never be afraid to turn back to your faith. As angry as you may be, He never fails us.... His love for us is too great. Maybe going back to church isn't what you need just yet, but always know God is listening to us. When you need someone to talk to... Pray. When you are awake at night and can't sleep, it just might be God saying he has time if you want to talk.

And lastly, cherish every minute you have. I never really understood the meaning of this until CJ joined the angels in Heaven. We are given one life. One chance. One opportunity. If you want to sky dive... Do it. If you want to run a marathon.... Do it. If you want to travel the world... Make it happen. Don't wait another day, go out and live now. And live with a purpose.

May 2015 bring peace to your hearts, love to your tables, and promise for a bigger and better tomorrow. Damaged relationship? I hope you find it in your heart to mend those bridges. Decisions to be made? I hope God guides you to make the best one possible. Whatever 2015 has in store for you, I hope it finds you happy, healthy, and with a few less assholes than last year ;)

This year... I will.... #doitforCJ








Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kids peeing in bushes, Make A Wish, and adorable little kids.

Another week at The Seas has come and gone, which brings me one week closer to being home on the couch with my puppy. I challenge anyone to try and come between me and Budweiser, it won't happen. This week was full of adorable little kids, and not so adorable older little kids. In a turtle talk show this week, Crush asked a little girl where she was from (meaning where do you live) and out of the most adorable, probably 3 year old, mouth came "mommy and daddy". Wise beyond her years ;) Hysterical laughing overtook the theater that day. And in another not hysterically funny moment I had to ask a family to not allow their 7 year old son to "go" in the bushes. I wish I was lying, and I honestly wish he would have been more discrete about the situation so I wouldn't have had to address it. But no, this little boy stood on a ledge probably 4ft high, pulled down his pants and took care of business relieving himself. I don't understand people. On another ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Nightmares

You know when you were little and a bad dream would wake you in the middle of the night your parents would comfort you and remind you it wasn't real and you would go back to sleep? In this bad dream... there is no comforting (because my parents aren't here, and I can guess they have a similar reoccurring dream at times) and it WAS real. The dream happened again last night.... Every so often I stir like crazy throughout the night as August 13th replays over and over in my dreams. I can picture pulling into the driveway after work, my phone ringing, it was the Doctor's office... the same doctor who would later that night deliver CJ.... the nurse was calling to tell me that everything at my yearly apt went well and they look forward to seeing me again. It didn't cross her mind that I was related to another patient of theirs and what I was about to walk into when I went inside. (I just realized this may be the first time I've shared this piece of t...
Post a Comment
Read more

#doitforCJ

Because I refer to him often and use #doitforCJ daily, it's only appropriate to explain who CJ is and what the hash tag is. In August of 2013 my Mom delivered the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen. His chubby cheeks and adorable button nose, all 3lbs 10oz of him were perfect. Except... Christian was still born. He never took a breath but instead was given his angel wings earlier than expected. I will never forget holding my little man in my arms. He was simply perfect and will always hold a place in my heart. I will never love a man the way I love my little brother. I am forever grateful that I had the opportunity to hold and whisper secrets to him. That's a moment that no one will ever be able to take away from me. I spoke about the things that Christian taught me at his funeral. Let that sink in for a moment. I, his older sister, spoke about the things he taught me and he never even took a breath. He taught me to be patient, waiting for his arrival was driving me ...
Post a Comment
Read more