So I may be a little late the 2015 party, but it's because I wanted to compose something really worthwhile. I can't tell you how many blogs I have started and not finished since my last post.
2014 taught me a lot. A lot more than one simple blog post can explain, but i'll sure do my best.
Make the decision best for you. When faced with choosing between A and B, don't choose B because that's that everyone wants you to do. Pick the one that YOU want. Pick the one that suits you best. Those who really care will support you whether you pick A or B. Pick the one that is going to set you up for a better future.
"Family" is just a word. "The descendants of a common ancestor." That's the definition that pops up when you type "family definition" in to Google. But as I've gotten older I've learned the hard truth. Family is NOT always blood. It's the people who want to see you succeed. It's the people who don't just call and text on your birthday, or when they need something, but randomly just to see how you are. Family are the people who stick with you through the tough stuff, they don't abandon you. Family forgives you for something you may have said when you were hurt and at rock bottom, they don't leave you out to dry.
Death hurts. It hurts in the moment, its hurts the day after the funeral when your phone stops ringing with texts/messages/calls of prayers and thoughts, and it sure as hell hurts 17 months later. Someone you love is gone and until you reach Heaven... you can't have them back. So yes, you are allowed to cry. Whenever the hell you feel like. Take time to adjust to the life changes that are happening. No one prepares us for death, there is no right or wrong way to handle it, so again... do what's best for you. At CJ's service Father David said something that everyone heard but only a few actually felt. He said that people need to stop saying let me know if you need anything. Why? BECAUSE THEY NEED YOU! A person who needs help isn't going to ask for it. The visitors that showed up unannounced following Christian's funeral are angels. They HEARD what Father said. The people who have surrounded us; checked in on us, and been there for us not only that week but for the months to follow.... we need more of them on this earth.
When life knocks you on your knees, your in the perfect position to pray. I love this quote and the truth behind it. When I hit rock bottom, I moved to Florida and I found myself in a church of all places on my time off. As mad as I was with God, he called me home. And after many tears, alone in a pew during mass, he and I were able to work through some things. I'm not saying I'm a perfect Catholic, but when I needed my faith most it, it was there for me. Never be afraid to turn back to your faith. As angry as you may be, He never fails us.... His love for us is too great. Maybe going back to church isn't what you need just yet, but always know God is listening to us. When you need someone to talk to... Pray. When you are awake at night and can't sleep, it just might be God saying he has time if you want to talk.
And lastly, cherish every minute you have. I never really understood the meaning of this until CJ joined the angels in Heaven. We are given one life. One chance. One opportunity. If you want to sky dive... Do it. If you want to run a marathon.... Do it. If you want to travel the world... Make it happen. Don't wait another day, go out and live now. And live with a purpose.
May 2015 bring peace to your hearts, love to your tables, and promise for a bigger and better tomorrow. Damaged relationship? I hope you find it in your heart to mend those bridges. Decisions to be made? I hope God guides you to make the best one possible. Whatever 2015 has in store for you, I hope it finds you happy, healthy, and with a few less assholes than last year ;)
This year... I will.... #doitforCJ
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